waking up and then being desperate for nothing, i'm always like that

lying in bed and listening to the drifting of time, just lying and feeling bewildered, confused, and panic

mom thinks i'm still sleeping, my cousin thinks so too

just like the old time, i'm dying inside with a calm face, but no one isn't being like that for at least once in their entire life?

somewhere deep down in my heart, all i want to do is crying out of my lungs, for all the pains i've been experienced in the past 20 years, for all the heartbreaks...and then i can move forward to welcome the new pains and heartbreaks which sure will come soon

sometimes i asked myself, what is the point of being alive?

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